In school, as in life in general, things happen. Some are good, others not so much. Some are the result of clear decisions, others of impulses, and others are simply accidents.
And yet, every time something happens, it seems an immediate need arises in us to find the guilty party, as if doing so would give us the key to resolve what happened. As if simply pointing to someone would make the conflict or harm disappear.
We often find ourselves questioning boys and girls about situations they don’t fully understand or remember clearly. We ask for explanations with the urgency of an adult who needs certainty. And sometimes, with the best of intentions, we accept incomplete, simplistic versions—or versions shaped to meet our own need for clarity—as if they were the truth.
But not everything has someone to blame. Sometimes, things just happen. Missteps, bumps, forgetfulness, spontaneous reactions… There are times when there’s no one behind it with a clear intention. And we cannot—nor should we—turn everything into an investigation aimed at forcing a confession or an apology just to ease our adult need for control, creating along the way uncomfortable situations for everyone.
At school, we work carefully, with thoughtfulness and with a willingness to listen. We do investigate, yes, but we also respect the time and process of every child. We teach them to repair, to take responsibility, to reflect. But we also teach them that guilt is not always the way forward—and that understanding is often more valuable than accusing.
Trust our work. There’s much more at stake than simply finding someone to blame.